For You

In a few weeks, my journey to Iowa will begin. This will be more than just a trip across a few states. I'm anticipating many hard, yet rewarding experiences. Nine weeks of my summer will be spent serving on a Ranch working with abused and at-risk children and youth. In preparing to serve in ways I never have before, I wrote the following lines.
This is dedicated to anyone who has ever experienced the horrible pain of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.


For you who are being robbed of your innocence - I will fight
For you who are trapped in a wold of pain - I will fight
For you who have lost hope - I will fight
For you who have been used then rejected - I will fight
For you who are weak - I will fight
For you who have lost the desire to fight - I will fight

I will fight against the powers of darkness
I will fight the temptation to ignore your pain
I will fight so that you may find hope and healing

For you who have been silenced - I will be a voice
For you who cannot love or even understand love - I will show love
For you who can no longer trust - I will be faithful

I will fight; for you who were once victims can be made into victors.
Not through strength of my own will I fight
Because Christ has fought for me - I will fight for you

HIS Purpose for Me

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. Ps. 138:8

For the past few years I've chosen a verse or passage of scripture to especially meditate on throughout the year.  The above verse is the one I chose for this year; little did I know how often I would already need to be reminded of it.

Over the past months I began to increasingly bemoan my singleness. I've sat by and watched as many of my friends have entered into relationships, moving towards marriage. My own sister, four years my junior even deserted me to join those with "in a relationship" statuses. While I have continued to remain dateless, single, and so much as look at a guy and he disappears. Then the ugly thing rooted up - jealousy. I felt sorry for myself and that I was I was unwanted. I felt I had done the things "good" Christian girls are supposed to do, so I questioned what I could have done wrong. When in reality, it is my perception that has been wrong.

Marriage is not something we obtain once we've completed a list of "requirements". 

I thought I "deserved" for God to bless me with a significant other. I thought I had fulfilled enough "requirements". I let myself sulk and feel sorry for much too long. In my sulking, God reminded me of the verse I chose at the beginning of the year.

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me."  God just worked that phrase around in my heart for awhile. He reminded me: It is not about what I deserve or even desire - it is about God fulfilling His purpose in my life. If it was truly about what I deserved, I would receive spiritual death and separation from God. I deserve NOTHING but judgment from God. But God has chosen me, and has chosen to fulfill his purpose for me through singleness - whether it be for a season or for a lifetime. I find comfort in that fact. And I know that God is fulfilling a purpose greater than anything I have even imagined!

My struggles have not magically been taken away, but I find peace when I stop fighting against God's plan, and instead trust in His sovereignty.


How has God been fulfilling His purpose in your life?

Why Do I?

Why do I struggle with contentment when I have been blessed with the unsearchable riches of Christ?

Why do I struggle with loneliness when I have a friend greater than any other - a relationship with the Son of God?

Why do I worry about being accepted by people, when I've already been accepted by Christ the very Son of God?

Why do I try so hard to feel like I belong, when my home's not of this world?

Will YOU be a Voice?

January is National Human Trafficking Awareness month

 I encourage you to make yourself more aware on the subject and join in the fight against it. Here are some great places to get started: human-trafficking  Human Trafficking Love146

However, Human Trafficking is actually not the issue I am going to address, but a similar one - Sexual Abuse. Over the next few months I will be doing several posts on the topic. It is difficult to talk about. It is uncomfortable to talk about. But in the protection of the innocent and the healing of victims - talk about it we must. The victims need voices who will speak for them. 

Silent No Longer

A world of people around me,

yet no one to hear my hurting cries.

  I open my mouth to speak,

but the pain goes unheard.

Afraid to speak without gaining your trust,

 I hold the hurt in - which grows stronger each day.

I want to share with you my story,

But never stopping to show me that you care -

  you walk right on by.

Too focused on your own life,

you have become blind to the hurt at your side.

Broken and disgraced,

  my innocence robbed of me.

Left hurting in silence-

  but learn to go on I must.

The pain yet remains.

But broken and bleeding for me, my Savior;

  through Him who bore my shame

I now am made free.

Free of the disgrace,

That robbed me of my innocence;

I find healing and strength to forgive

through Christ my Savior.

I will be silent no longer.

  I must speak - though painful it will be.

Others are suffering in silence.

  I must be their voice

when they are yet afraid to speak.

Random Wednesday

It's been awhile since I did a Random Wednesday post, but I'm thinking I may try to make it a more regular thing.

Awesome:
-Seeing my next older brother get married over the weekend. That's the 6th down, now 5 to go out of my crazy family of 11.

- Getting to spend some time with some of my older siblings and extended family that I don't see often enough. 

D'aww isn't he cutie?

-Hugs from my adorable niece and nephew. Unfortunately I don't think I got any pictures with his twin this time, but she is equally adorable. Miss them like crazy!
-Passing another test! Graduation, here I come!
-Going back to work after a few days off, and being reminded how much they appreciate having me around there. And I have to say I like being there, I'm pretty sure I have pretty much two of the best bosses ever!

And now I gotta throw at least a couple awkward moments out there.
-My sister and I riding in the back of the car with my brother and his new wife in the front the morning after their wedding. And yes, with the "honk for kiss" writing still on the windows. I'm pretty sure people thought we should be in Utah or something.
-Itching your nose right as your assistant pastor walks up, and wants to shake your hand.

What has been awkward or awesome about your week?

From the Inside Out

Consume me from the inside out Lord....

May you all have a blessed week, and find yourself consumed by a life in Christ.